date

I have a date tonight. I've wanted this guy to talk to me for a while. And he finally did and asked me out. And he seems fascinated about me too. But I'm no longer fascinated about him. He's turned out to be the complete opposite of what I saw in him.

Lately this is happening a lot to me. Seems as if I'm really not good at telling what a person's character is. Damn.

This is also the reason why I've been very down lately. Frankly, old wounds were torn open after this incident with the canadian guy. Yeah, he disappointed me in the end. And it was also my fault. Years ago I made an experience with a former boyfriend, whom I had loved very much. I was not even in love with this guy, but I liked him. And he gave me the feeling as if he liked me too. It was harmless, meaningless, pointless. Suddenly all the memories were back again and I acted accordingly - out of my mind. No wonder I was pushed back although all I wanted was talk. Did I scare him? He had told me that he once had a stalker. Did he not care? Then why the long hug and the nice words before he took off? Is he regretting it? I don't know. Some of all maybe.

*sigh*

So I'm having this date tonight and I absolutely don't want to go. On the other hand I know I have to go. Just so I won't miss anything. Just so I won't sit at home all night. Just so I'll give someone the chance to make me laugh and feel better. I really want to feel better.

I got up at 9am this morning and didn't eat anything until the afternoon. I completely forgot to eat. This is not like me at all. Not even in my deepest pain did I forget to eat! Once I had some food it went right through via express into canalisation. No hunger, no appetite, digestion sucks and I just want to sleep or numb myself infront of the TV.

I know what this sounds like. Sounds like it's time for some ass kicking! Time to meet friends, go out, laugh, celebrate whatever and heal. Let the old wounds heal, only remember the good times spent.

The human brain is programmed to filter out traumatic memories, drama and pain, isn't it. When is my brain going to kick in and heal my heart? Instead it brings awareness to all the things that remind me of these guys. Things they have told me. For example that many movies are shot where this guy has been living all his life. I was at a movie last night and guess what!? It was partly filmed right there. Then his name keeps following me around (in that very movie and elsewhere). It's a nightmare and I'm the psycho haunting myself. lol

Time to go back to work.

Nature Strikes Back

Rita 

Sartosa

A while back I wrote a post called Stop IE. It was inspired by a link I had stumbled across. I didn't refer much to the site other than posting the link. What I did was giving an introduction to Firefox and why I like it so much.

Recently someone commented on that post and left a link to a post in his own blog: "The crap that is StopIE". He does have some valid points. However, he is a Firefox user himself, so go figure. ;)

The page StopIE might not be based on the best set of arguments but who cares. IE still sucks! The existence of an open source and free browser like Firefox renders it useless.
IE users, I now challenge you to use your imagination! There is a bug in IE, first someone discovers it, then it goes public and then it will take MS programmers days if not weeks to fix it and provide you with an update. In the meantime hackers can take advantage of the bug. That's quite a common scenario with IE.
Now, of course the same thing could happen with Firefox if a bug goes public before there is a fix. However, since it is an open source program there usually is a bug fix available before anyone even realized there was a bug!!

I sure hope that people will give Firefox a try, eventually take the time to download all the addons that were built to implement the few missing IE functions they might have gotten used to [e.g. deskCut] and realize what a great improvement Firefox is!

Open source rules and no one needs IE anymore. Give me one good argument why we still need IE???

Here are some more pages fyi:
Firefox vs Internet Explorer aka Internet Extinction
Firefox vs. Internet Explorer
Firefox gains on IE in June
Browser Showdown - Firefox vs. Internet Explorer (humorous)

Finally I think that it doesn't hurt if all the nuts keep using IE. What harm does it do? It's actually like charity. Everyone who decides to switch to Firefox puts in some of their time to get familiar with a new browser. If they enjoy it they will possibly spend even more time to further improve it (open source rules!). This forces MS to improve their browser more and more. The technically uninterested will only profit from that and it's a good thing! They can hardly be bothered to search and install cool addons or extensions, so they need IE. I understand that. I also understand that this fraction of internet users potentially is a majority, sadly!

OMG

Re-reading my last post I feel very silly. It was an adventure I don't want to miss. But my expectations were a little too high. Oh well, it was the best I've had in ages. Cudos to him. :) He's back in Canada and too busy to talk. What did I expect? Nothing really. Yeah right!

Work has become important again although I didn't get much done other than paper work. I hate it! It makes me feel so unproductive and I get tired real quick. So I go home at around 6pm (after 8 hours work...which is less than normal). And I won't get much else done before my vacation. Gawd, I cannot wait for my vacation!

I'm supposed to be working now. Have to finish more paper work before Monday. But I'm so not in the mood for paper work on Sunday. Yesterday I felt quite bad, although I was in a good mood. Strange really. It was hot, humid, the sun was burning and I was so tired from the night before. So what I did was getting up late, cleaning my appartment from bottom to top, grocery shopping and wasting the rest of the day sleeping, surfing, watching TV, chatting, reading and sleeping a lot more.

Friday night I was going to have another adventure. But it didn't work out. :( We wanted to visit a b*u*n*k*e*r! We had a legal permission for a tour. Unfortunately someone else had gone in illegally and had shut all entrances from the inside. We had no chance at all to get inside. Damn! Inspecting the area was still very interesting though and I took lots of pictures. However, I may not publish them, they're only for private use. Sorry! Anyway, we'll try again at the end of October. Hopefully that will work out. To make up for the lost adventure we had a BBQ. I got home at 2am and went to bed at around 3.30am.

I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. Three days of paper work ahead and then hopefully none for three weeks. If I'm lucky that is. If not my boss will (as always very nicely) force me to get stuff done on weekends and during my vacation. I better get it done NOW, right? Yeah, I better...